Oh, just call it Genocide
by Alkhatine
Summary: "So that was why he was here, signing papers in a partially destroyed shawarma joint with a hood pulled up to hide his features." In other words, MoD!Harry is called to New York after the Chitauri invasion to face the bane of his existence... paperwork.
1. Paperwork

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Gucchi... and I'm not so sure about that either... it has a mind of its own**

* * *

Matthew Oxford Davies was dying.

Of boredom.

Gucchi Enchilada Nostradamus Olive Churro Insidious Dinnerbone Exelodius, his looks-exactly-like-but-really-not dog, was off working. Without it around, there was nothing worth doing.

They had come to New York because of the recent Chitauri invasion (the sheer size of the genocide warranted a personal visit), but the fighting had passed and all that was left was rubble and dead bodies. Matthew had seen enough _those_ to last eternity.

Gucchi actually had the _fun_ part of the job, but did _Matthew_ get to round up souls with awesome herding skills? No; he had to do _paperwork_. Merlin, all the bloody paperwork…

So that was why he was here, signing papers in a partially destroyed shawarma joint with a hood pulled up to hide his features. Not that it was strictly necessary, as the only ones who could see him were Gucchi and those with close - very close - brushes with death.

Matthew sighed. He sometimes wished more people had very closes brushes with death, if only because existence with only Gucchi left him a bit… cracked.

Matthew giggled as he kept signing. Him? _Cracke_? Ha! He was… sane. Right? Then again, what sane person forgot the "d" in "cracked"? And he wasn't even writing. It was all in his head… well, if it was all in his head, there was no evidence of insanity, so of course he wasn't crazy. He nodded, satisfied, then turned back to his job.

The face behind the hood scowled as he looked at the ever-growing stack of paperwork.

He was signing the papers with a skull, but it looked more like a mushroom. Matthew's frown deepened. His awesome, badarse skull looked like a _mushroom_? The cloaked figure shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. They only led to depression.

Besides that, what was Gucchi _doing_? The pile was no longer growing, but Matthew was sure there were more souls to sign out.

"Stupid looks-exactly-like-but-really-not dog," Matthew muttered, "Probably wagging it's tail at a poor grandma to get a cookie." He stabbed the next paper perhaps a bit too forcefully, poking a hole that repaired itself immediately. Damn it, he couldn't even take out his frustration on the bane of his existence.

He was still glaring at the paper - which burst into flames repeatedly under the intense emerald gaze - when the door to the shop opened and seven figures walked in. Two of them were arguing.

"C'mon, Steve, can we keep him?" a man with fancy facial hair whined.

"For the thirteenth and last time, Stark, no."

"You said the same thing ten no's ago! Look at him. He's so adorable in that scruffy, underfed way."

"Last time before this shield is used for something other than killing alie-"

"GUCCHI!"

The two holding the conversation and another, a bearded man with armor, a red cape, and a hammer (Matthew didn't even want to ask) jumped at the sound. Matthew ignored them, his eyes snapping to Gucchi, who whimpered.

"Don't try that pity thing with me, Exelodius," Matthew snarled. Gucchi gulped. Its master only called it by its last name if he was _pissed_. "Why aren't you doing your job?" he boomed, jabbing his finger in the direction of the cursed paperwork, "I've been sitting here slaving away for the past four hours while you've been hanging around a bunch of mortals wagging your tail. You know what the punishment for procrastination is..."

Under the shocked eyes of three humanoids (and a terrified one from Gucchi), Matthew waved a hand. With a poof, the shaggy form was gone...

only to be replaced by a white and pink poodle, a pink bow tied on its tail. It whimpered.

In a flash, there was a hammer and a blue, red, and white frisbee raised threateningly in Matthew's direction. The man with fancy facial hair shifted into a battle stance.

"Release the animal from your spell, sorcerer!"

"...Gucchi! Why did you bring a bunch of almost-died people with you?!"

* * *

 **A/N: Hey! First chapter of first story, yeah? If you have opinions on who should be able to see Matthew, let me know! If I agree with your reasoning I'll be sure to make changes.** **And yes, to those who haven't guessed, Matthew is Harry Potter.**

 **Sorry about the constant changes; this is my first fanfic.**

 **Probably gonna be updating this whenever a bolt of lightning strikes from inspiration land and hits me straight in the forehead.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. A Good Day

**A/N: I'm stunned by the positive reaction to the first chapter! Thanks to those who have reviewed and otherwise shown support.** **This chapter is basically Chapter 1 from the Avengers' perspective. Please forgive me if some people seem OOC, as this is my first attempt. If it seems extreme, leave a review and I'll do my best to fix it! On to the second chapter...**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but Gucchi and all of its eight names**

 **Warnings: Slight cussing. One word. All Clint's fault.**

* * *

Tony was having a good day. Portal closed, Chitauri dead, Loki gone, and now the team was going out to dinner at his favorite shawarma joint. The genius hummed. A good day, indeed.

It got even better when he stepped into a puddle.

Tony looked at his dog-spittle covered shoes and his smile grew. The horrendously pinchy _things_ had been a Christmas present from Pepper, and now he would have an excuse not to wear them everywhere.

Truly a wonderful day. But then the man suddenly halted as he realized something… dog spittle?

Looking down, Tony was greeted with the sight of a scruffy, underfed dog panting up at him. Spit dripped from the pink tongue lolling out of its mouth, which contrasted nicely with its otherwise black coloring.

"You lost, little guy?" he asked. The dog tilted its head to the side and gave a woof, large, intelligent eyes peering up at the man. Funny, Tony couldn't quite tell what color they were. He reached down and pet it hesitantly. When the dog wagged its tail and nudged into his hand for more, he laughed.

"What's the big deal, Stark?" Clint, the resident archer, asked. His expression brightened as he saw the dog. "Aw, aren't you a cutie!" he simpered in a sickeningly sweet tone.

Gucchi snarled. Clint jumped back. Tony laughed.

"D-did you see that?!" Clint yelped. Tony snickered and patted the dog on the head.

"Guess it's just not a big fan of hawks, birdman," he remarked smugly.

"Wha- says the big hunk of metal!"

"Calling the guy who makes your weapons a big hunk of metal doesn't really help your arsenal."

"Yeah? Guess who saved your tin ass yesterday?"

"You."

"Ha!"

"Using _my_ weapons."

"Worked with _my_ skills."

"What's the holdup, boys?" the smooth voice of Natasha asked, the tiniest hint of irritation bleeding into the question. Both men gulped.

"Hahaha. Nothing, 'Tasha. Just…"

"Discussing yesterday's battle?"

"Yeah! Tony, my best man, your big iron suit really saved my life back there."

"Well, you returned the favor with those arrows of yours…"

Too busy complimenting each other, they failed to see Natasha's mouth lift up at the corners (slightly, mind you) as she walked past them. She halted, however, at the sight of the dog.

"Picked up another stray, Stark?" she drawled, "Thought that hawk was enough."

"Yeah, Tony. Wait… that was mean!"

"What's this about a stray?" Steve asked, having caught up to the group just in time to hear Natasha's words. In response, she jerked her head towards the dog, who was still drooling onto Stark's shoes.

Steve raised an eyebrow. Tony put on his best wide-eyed, hopeful look, and the Captain sighed.

"We aren't keeping it, Stark."

"But Steve-"

"No."

The look was back, and Steve felt his resolve crumbling. The _innocence_ and pure _goodness_ radiating from those warm brown eyes...

"Please?"

Tears began pooling in the genius' orbs and Steve gulped. That wasn't fair; Stark knew _exactly_ what affect those eyes had on him. And the worst thing was, that look _shouldn't_ have an affect on him. He was Captain America! He had lived through a supersoldier serum, a war, a plane crash, and seventy years in solid ice. He was _not_ going to be affected by that look.

Even so, Steve knew resistance was futile.

Thankfully, a timely interruption the good Captain's dignity.

"What's wrong, guys?" asked Bruce, who had finally caught up with Thor in tow. The four members of his team were huddled around... something. Coming closer, he realized that it was a scruffy dog with drool pooling around its feet. Thor's eyes lit up and he rushed past Bruce.

"A fine specimen! Come, my friends, this will make the perfect celebratory meal!" the god boomed. The dog, upon hearing this, whimpered and hid behind Tony. Shocked, the genius lost his innocent facade. Steve latched onto the opportunity.

"For the last time, Stark, _no._ Unless you want us to make a wolf meat donation to the restaurant?"

Tony gulped, but brightened again.

"It can be a pet! People have pigs for pets, don't they?"

"No pets. It'll make a mess."

"Barton makes a mess already! It won't make a difference."

"Hey!"

"It's still a no."

"I'll make something that cleans up after it?"

The look was back again. Steve sighed.

* * *

Somehow, the group managed to make it to the restaurant without Steve succumbing to Tony's persuasion. As they strode inside, however, Tony was still pleading.

"C'mon, Steve, can we keep him?"

Steve sighed for the umpteenth time. It was really getting old.

"For the thirteenth and last time, Stark, no."

"You said the sa-"

Steve, ignoring Tony, glanced around the building for potential threats. The rubble-filled building was relatively empty, save for two people in uniform and a hooded man in the corner. The man seemed to be… signing papers? He shook his head. People these days.

And wait… were the papers on fire?

"-underfed way," Tony finished.

Absently, his eyes still on the suspicious figure, Steve replied, "Last time before this shield is used for something other than killing alie-"

"GUCCHI!"

Though he had been watching the man, Steve couldn't help but jump. So did Tony and Thor, but curiously, no one else reacted. As the man launched into a rant about paperwork, Steve glanced at his team.

Tony was staring, and Thor held his hammer ready, but Clint and Natasha were talking quietly and Bruce was staring into the distance. What the _heck_?

"Uh…guys, you seeing this?" whispered Tony.

Natasha looked up, knowing something was wrong by Tony's tone of voice. "What's wrong?" she asked, eyes flitting past but not focusing on the hooded man.

Tony laughed a bit hysterically and muttered, " _Please_ tell me I'm not the only one seeing a shady guy yelling at a dog."

Unfortunately, no one got the chance to reply because the mystery man finished his rant and waved his hand.

The dog turned into a poodle.

Steve, Tony, and Thor readied their weapons, and the other three were looking at the dog in befuddlement. Natasha shivered. She felt strangely cold, an unusual feeling for her. Looking at the dog-turned-poodle, she took in the pink coloring, bow, and horrendous haircut the poor dog now sported and nodded. It had her approval.

"Release the animal from your spell, sorcerer!" Thor threatened. Natasha looked around, confused. Who was he yelling at?

Thor, however, gulped as a piercing emerald gaze landed on him, feeling as if the man was looking into his very soul.

There was a beat of silence. Then the man snapped, "Gucchi! Why did you bring a bunch of almost-died people with you?!"

* * *

 **A/N: Whew, that was long! A lot of dialogue, too, huh? Hope it was alright. What do my faithful followers think? Yes, soon we will get to the point when you will start calling me Supreme Author Who Triumphs Over Us All... *rubs hands together and cackles evilly***

 **So... why wasn't Natasha freaked out when she saw the poodle? Well, Gucchi is used to its master's antics, so it cast a Confundus charm on her and everyone who couldn't see Matthew. Why not everyone? Well, it wanted its revenge, of course... (** **The shiver is a side effect of the spell.)**

 **Thanks to Roserayrose for calling my attention to the small fact of Harry's new name... Matthew Oxford Davis. Take the first letter of each word and you'll get the acronym for Master of Death. Sorry for not making that clear!**

 **Anyway, let me know where you want this to go. Should it have a plot, or should it just be a bunch of weirdness? I can do both, so leave a review! Though, personally, I'm vouching for the weirdness...**

 **Thanks for reading! I'll see you next chapter.**


	3. Kicking a puppy

**A/N: Third chapter! I was going to have Fury meet Matthew this chapter, but I got carried away...**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

Matthew looked around. Three people ready to attack him, the rest ready to follow once they saw what the other three were aiming at.

He sighed. He hated Gucchi sometimes.

"I appreciate the thought and all, Dinnerbone, but can you not bring almost-died people who want to _kill_ me?" he exclaimed, plopping back onto his chair. Gucchi relaxed slightly. At least he wasn't calling it Exelodius anymore.

It decided to venture a reply.

 _I was bored, Harry_ , it mind-spoke.

" _Matthew_ , Dinnerbone. Is my name really that hard to remember? Like seriously, the memories of you looks-exactly-like-but-really-not dogs…In fact, how old _are_ you?"

 _Hey! At least I was born after Murder. And I_ did _remember your name._

"Oh, _that_ old thing? Everyone except for Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel are younger than it! And I've been trying to get you to call me Matthew for our entire partnership."

 _Humph. That means I'm younger than five others at least… Oh no… I really am old, aren't I?_ The poodle whimpered and covered its eyes with its paws, practically oozing with depression.

Matthew grinned in triumph. Proceeding to ignore the six humanoids, he picked up his quill and drew more mushrooms.

* * *

Steve's eyebrows rose as the man sat down, had a one-sided conversation with the poodle, then picked up a quill (who even _used_ those anymore?) to continue signing papers.

They climbed even further when he saw the signed papers disappear as the figure slapped it down angrily on the table, mumbling all the while about "paperwork", "darn aliens", and "why did I pick up those bloody Hallows".

It was decided. The man was insane.

Steve knew that he would have to bring the man - Matthew, as the one-sided conversation with the poodle revealed - back to SHIELD. Not only so his magic could be examined, but also because Steve knew some of the most dangerous men in history had been insane. Mind made up, he turned to Tony.

"We have to bring him to SHIELD," he whispered, "do you have his file?"

Tony snorted. "Kinda hard to get someone's file when you don't know their last name or appearance besides his eye color, Gramps," the genius muttered back.

Steve facepalmed. He had forgotten about that.

"Hey Thor, can you help us out?"

* * *

"Show your face, sorcerer!" Thor boomed. The man turned and stared at him.

The god of thunder gulped. There was little on Midgard that could faze him, yet this man's eyes bored straight into his soul and, frankly, creeped him out. He felt the power swirling around the figure's core, and knew that he could smite them all if he so wished.

Hearing the intake of breath, probably to say a power-word, Thor closed his eyes.

Thirty seconds later, the figure was still drawing breath. Thor still had his eyes shut.

Thirty more seconds, the figure was still drawing breath. Thor was whimpering.

A minute and a half later, the figure finally stopped. Thor was on the ground, cowering, his cape pulled over his head.

With a distinct woosh, the air came out again in the form of a single word.

"Why?"

* * *

"Steve, what's going on?" asked Bruce as he watched Thor talk to thin air.

"Thor's trying to convince a sorcerer to let us see his face," the captain replied.

"Sorcerer?"

"The one that changed the stray into a poodle."

"Oh… that was a stray dog before?"

"... You don't remember?"

"Well, now that you pointed it out, I do."

"So you can't see him?"

"Nope."

…

"Why is Thor whimpering?"

"Uh, the sorcerer is breathing."

"Breathing?"

"Yeah, seems to scare him for some reason."

"Scaring Thor is like kicking a puppy."

"This guy punished a dog by changing it into a poodle. I don't think he cares."

"True."

Steve and Bruce stood watching as Thor sank to the floor and pulled his cape over his head, seeking comfort in the piece of red cloth. Clint snickered and Natasha elbowed him in the ribs. Tony sighed.

"This was such a great day too…"

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers, favoriters, and followers! Support is what makes me want to keep writing.**

 **The story of Cain and Abel is the first death in the Bible. Cain killed his brother, Abel, as a result of jealousy. Thus, murder was created. They were the sons of Adam and Eve, who were the first people on Earth. Sorry if this confused people who do not read the Bible or know the story!**

 **School is ending soon, so I should have more time to write. Yay! (or not yay if you hate the story)**

 **Please drop a review on your way out and visit again soon!**


	4. Introductions

**A/N: Still no Fury... hope you enjoy it anyway!**

 **Disclaimer: All my poor self owns is the idea and Gucchi.**

* * *

"Why?" the man intoned coldly, staring down the god huddled at his feet.

Thor let out a small squeak, then clapped his hands over his mouth, embarrassed for making such a girly sound. He cleared his throat to try again.

"I, Th-Thor Odinson, order, you t-to take off your hood and sh-show us your face…" he stuttered. The man glared...and glared…and glared… then opened his mouth.

"Alright!" he chirped happily and, with not a flourish, shook the cloth off his head.

Thor faceplanted into the floor.

* * *

"The name's Matthew Oxford Davies, nice to meetcha!"

The Avengers, Matthew, and Gucchi were seated around a table, Matthew with his hand held out for someone to shake.

Steve stared at the hand extended in his direction. "Uh...Steve Rogers," he replied, hesitantly shaking the hand and taking in the features of the man sitting in front of him.

Matthew was...handsome, Steve supposed, with black hair and shockingly green eyes amplified with round glasses. That, coupled with his slim yet muscular build, made him quite attractive. However, looking at his deranged grin and the red and gold t-shirt featuring a roaring lion he wore under his robe, Steve felt the intense desire to run and never look back.

Steve blinked, realizing that in the thirty seconds of him observing Matthew, the man had not stopped shaking his hand and was now staring at the captain with a leery grin on his face. Gulping, Steve yanked his hand back and scrubbed at it desperately with a napkin. Tony snickered into his shawarma, then spoke.

"Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. And, you know, Iron Man."

"Who?"

"...You don't know me? Stark Industries...Weapon production?"

Matthew brightened up at that. "Ah, you're the one that caused the mass genocide a few years back," he exclaimed, clapping in delight. The smile abruptly dropped off of his face. "You have _no_ idea how much paperwork that caused me. I just wanted to…"

Finding no words to describe the emotions he had had, Matthew stared at a napkin until it began smoldering. Tony laughed nervously, sweat beading at his temple, and made eyes at Clint. _Help me please._

The archer rolled his eyes. "I can't see him, remember?" he muttered to Tony, eyes fixed on the burning napkin. "He got some tech or something?" Tony looked at Matthew a bit more carefully. No obvious weapons or gadgets...the billionaire shrugged at Clint. Matthew took notice, and blinked at Clint.

"Whozzat?"

"Oh, uh, that's Cl- Hawkeye."

Matthew's eyebrow rose and waggled a bit. "Hot guy, huh? I approve."

A strange coughing sound could be heard from Steve. "You okay, Cap?" Clint asked worriedly. The supersoldier nodded, red in the face and not meeting Clint's eye. Tony rolled his eyes and waved a hand.

"And the redhead's Natasha, the dorky guy's Bruce, and the buff dude is Thor. That's everyone, right?"

Matthew nodded approvingly as Tony introduced each person, then clapped his hands. "It was _wonderful_ meeting you all, but-" "No, no, no," Tony interrupted. Matthew looked at him quizzically.

"We gotta take you to Fury."

* * *

 **A/N: YES I'M ALIVE!**

 **Don't worry, this fic is not abandoned. As I (might have?) mentioned before, updates will be sporadic, short, and not very often. *cough cough* - _been a year_ \- *cough***

 **Thank you all my supporters! I am honestly stunned by how many people have favorited, followed, and reviewed this story. I will work on writing more if I can find my inspiration again.**

 **I apologize if people find this whole fic confusing and/or strange. It's more of me exploring my own little universe and writing random stuff that I enjoy :). I can't promise that I'll explain any of it, so it's your decision to keep this on your radar.**

 **I appreciate all reviews, even if they make my poor heart bleed. But that's its natural state of being, so hit me with your worst!**


	5. Intermission

**A/N: Apologies, not a plot-relevant chapter. Just a short intermission as I attempt to get back into the swing of things. Enjoy!**

 **Just a note (** **AND PLEASE READ THIS** **): This is** _ **not**_ **an attack on my wonderful reviewers. Please continue to criticize my work if there's something you disagree with. Again, much will ever remain a mystery, but I do appreciate the time you guys put into leaving a comment, and I do agree with a lot of you on multiple points. This is just for my amusement. Please don't take personal offense.**

* * *

Alkhatine sat in a cottage out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a wall of nothingness, munching on some salted peanuts and pretzels. It was quiet, and she was finally free of the headache of trying to order Matthew around. Really, for all the implications of his title, the man was just an overgrown baby. Gucchi was less of a hassle, thankfully, otherwise she would be curled up crying in a dark corner, leaving _Fury_ in charge, or someone even worse...

A distinct cracking sound - the sound of something unbreakable being broken - interrupted Alkhatine's thoughts, and her face paled. _It couldn't be…_

Peanuts and pretzels went flying as she flew out of the cottage into the middle of nowhere. There, in the wall of nothingness in the middle of the middle of nowhere, a hairline fracture had appeared. Desperately, Alkhatine summoned a roll of duct tape and attempted to stop the crack from spreading, but it was too late. Under her horrified gaze, it grew wider and wider…

Until, with a tremendous crash and an awful amount of dust, the fourth wall broke down.

Matthew stood in the huge gap in the wall triumphantly, Gucchi standing with its tail between its legs at his side. Alkhatine's eyes narrowed as she stomped over to him.

"Just _what_ are you doing here?" she hissed, looking around anxiously and trying to shove Matthew back through the wall. He folded his arms petulantly.

"I need to talk to you."

"No. Go away."

"The reviewers are being meeeaaaaan, Tiny."

"Not my problem. And for Merlin's sake, _don't_ call me that."

"But they said -"

"I know what they said, I'm the one who reads them to you, and I don't give a damn. Out!"

"But -"

"No. Out!"

Matthew resisted Alkhatine's shoving with impressive stubbornness, his face scrunched up in concentration. Abruptly, he stepped to the side, causing Alkhatine to fly into the wall. Matthew took no notice of this, as he was struck with an idea.

"They're making me get crazier!" he exclaimed.

" _WHAT?"_ screamed Alkhatine, picking herself off the ground and dusting herself off. Her appearance was the least of her worries right now, though. If Matthew got harder to control than he was now, she would _die._

Sensing a weakness, Matthew pushed on, nodding sagely. "Oh, yes. Saying I should have kept my name and other rubbish like that."

"And...why is that making you crazier? Frankly, I agree with them. Why _did_ you change it?"

"Becau- cuz it makes sense! I'm the MoD, and Gucchi's genocide, so our names match! What did they want me to be, Hairy Jam Pancakes? Help Juggling Prevail? Hilarious Jelly Potties? Have…" Matthew thought for a moment, then gave up. "See? It doesn't make sense. It makes the world even less understandable than it is now."

Alkhatine stared blankly at Matthew for a moment, then shook her head. "I can't do this right now," she muttered, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Just what do you want me to do, anyway? Ban people from reviewing?"

Matthew perked up. "That would be nice," he offered hesitantly.

Alkhatine groaned. "Do you want to _die_? That's what will happen if people stop reviewing."

The wizard's head tilted in confusion. "I'm the Master of Death. I can't die, can I?" he asked curiously. Alkhatine shook her head. "See, that's the thing," she explained, "If I stop writing, you'll be lost." She stepped closer to Matthew until their noses were almost touching, then continued, "In the _Internet_."

A gasp of horror came from the black-haired man. Left to drift in the endless void of cat videos and memes, with nothing to tether him to the outside world until someone decides to use him, and even then changed and stretched into something other than himself...it was the worst fate imaginable.

"Th-that won't happen."

"Oh, but it _will,_ if I lose my motivation."

A nervous swallow.

"So? Should I tell them to stop reviewing? I could do that ri-"

"Wait!"

Alkhatine smirked and folded her arms, arching an eyebrow at Matthew's direction. He was white in the face, and was panting quite heavily. He mumbled something. Her smirk grew wider. "What was that?" she purred.

"...I won't go crazy."

"You swear?"

There was a moment of hesitation, but Alkhatine whispered, " _Cat videos_ , Matthew."

He meeped. "Alright, alright, I swear!"

"Good. Now," Alkhatine said, pushing the pale, trembling wizard back through the hole in the wall - Gucchi trotting dutifully at his side - "Leave. And don't come back!"

Alkhatine waved her hand, and the fourth wall repaired itself. Sighing in relief, she went back to her peanuts and pretzels, cracking her knuckles before hunching over the keyboard. "Alright, let's do this."

* * *

 **A/N: Ahahaha what is this and why is it longer than my plot chapters? Who knows. I think I have one more chapter left in me, so let's see if I can finish this within the next lifetime or so. I'm sweating just thinking about it, so wish me luck, guys.**

 **As always, thanks for reading! I am delighted that my first fanfiction has warranted this amount of followers. Thank you!**


	6. Title Drop

**A/N: Finally...it's here! I can't apologize enough for the huge wait. Actually, I'm surprised I managed to finish this. I couldn't have done it without you guys. Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing except for ideas.**

* * *

"...Fury?" Matthew asked quizzically, tilting his head a moment before turning to Gucchi and muttering, "You know anything named Fury?"

The poodle thought for a moment, then brightened. _I believe I have met something named Fury. It was quite a long time ago, however, so I can't say for sure…_ Reminded again of its old age, Gucchi burst into tears.

Matthew took Gucchi's tears to mean that it had very much enjoyed meeting Fury, and would dearly want to see its face again. Nodding decisively, he turned to the Avengers.

"Alright, then!" the wizard said cheerfully, "Lead the way!"

"What," said Tony.

* * *

Matthew stared at the tall, one-eyed man who was currently glaring at the Avengers and at Matthew. The wizard frowned. "He doesn't seem very happy to see you, Gucchi… are you sure you've met?" he murmured to the dog. When he heard no response, Matthew glanced at Gucchi. A lone tear was trickling down its face as it looked at Fury. _He looks so young…_ it whimpered. Fury raised an eyebrow at it, but turned to Steve.

"And who might this be?"

Steve shifted nervously under Director Fury's one-eyed glare. God, if he hadn't lost the other eye, Steve would probably be a pile of ash, shield and all. "We're…" the supersoldier sighed, "We're not exactly sure, sir. As far as we can tell, he's some kind of magical entity and that dog is his companion."

Matthew coughed pointedly. Fury turned to him, his eye saying get on with it. The wizard bowed extravagantly.

"Matthew Oxford Davies at your service! And 'that dog' is Gucchi Enchilada Nostradamus Olive Churro Insidious Dinnerbone Exelodius. We're part of a crew that deals with death.

"You're not here to nag me about Phil Coulson, are you?" asked Fury, hand creeping towards his gun.

"Who?" the wizard asked with a cute - at least to himself - tilt of the head. Furt grimaced, but continued, "He was murdered before the battle, but we brought him back.

Matthew waved a hand dismissively. "Naw, that's not under our jurisdiction," he explained. Dang, Murder was slacking lately if those kinds of things were happening.

"And...what exactly is your jurisdiction?"

Matthew looked at Gucchi and grinned.

"Oh, just call it Genocide."

* * *

 **A/N: A short one to finish off, huh? Before you ask, I don't expect that I'll be writing a sequel to this. But hey, I started this in eighth grade. I'm startled I got this far, to be honest. That being said, thanks for keeping up with my constant plot holes and randomness. Thanks so much for reading!**


End file.
